Nothing hurts more than the desire to do everything. I feel that I should know each and everything in this world. I don’t know whether it is good or bad, but I want it. When I see a well-educated professor, I want to be a teacher. Seeing a soulful singer, I also want my vocals to touch others’ hearts. And there are many more desires. Here, I am mentioning “many more” because it is a never-ending list. And also a dream that never comes true. Okay, then what’s wrong? It is just a dream. Is it wrong to have a dream or an aim? In response, I will say that a dream is worthy while dreaming. I think an unachievable dream just kills the living ability inside us. I will try to explain this through a narrative.
An eighteen-year-old, middle-class young man named Mr. Shyam is an average student. He has just completed his +2 level. Now, he has to choose a subject in which he can continue his studies further. He has always been curious about the physical world and its origin, so he wants to study Physics. He chooses it and works hard to do his best. He is a curious student. He examines everything philosophically. Everything goes well until one day he wonders what to do after completing his studies. He sees one of his friends earning a lot of money without having studied much. Since his family is not well-off, he feels, “Should I stop studying and support my father?” After thinking for a few days, he decides to continue his classes. Days pass normally.
One day, he spends time with a friend who plays the guitar very well. Impressed, he wants to learn to play the guitar. Another friend is very talented and has just won a competition for best student. This friend is an engineering student. Now, Mr. Shyam sees engineering as a worthy pursuit and wants to become an engineer. His own ambitions are killing him every day.
As mentioned, he was curious, and he started to pursue everything he felt was worthy. I think he was neither wrong nor right. The lack of an advisor and his own excessive ambitions just drew him downwards. Consequently, he loses focus on his classes and starts overthinking. This overthinking leads him into serious depression. He now lacks peace and companionship. He no longer wants anyone near him. To cope, he chooses the path of addiction, and his life becomes chaotic. Excessive smoking and overthinking destroy his life. Neither his parents nor anyone else can understand him. No one can feel the pain and suffering he is experiencing inside. He is now disdained by his own parents and everyone around him. He feels guilty about his habits and recalls the past when he used to be a talented and curious boy. He can’t bear the sorrow and finds no one to listen to his tragedy. Finally, he decides to leave the world in the hope of making his parents happy.
This is how a curious and capable person falls. Just once, if someone had persuaded him, told him that no one in this world can do everything, he would be living and possibly be a successful and noble man. So, please try to understand people’s intentions. Make time for those who can really become idols for everyone. If not, you could lose your child, husband, wife, and also a mysterious Philosopher.
—HR Koirala
